Usually when I think about hitting the wall it’s in reference to running or exercise. It’s that moment when you reach complete fatigue and have used up all of the glycogen stores in your muscles. I’ve been a runner for most of my life. In high school I ran the 400 and 800 meter dash. These races were too long to be a complete sprint, but not long enough for you to hold back much. Many times I would go out too fast in the beginning and hit the wall during the last 100 meters. It felt like running through mud to get to the finish line. There was no energy left to try to hold off those who were passing me by.
After graduating from veterinary school I decided to try a different type of running and began training for a marathon. A marathon is 26.2 miles, and for most people requires weeks of training. Part of this training is the weekly long run. Each week you add another mile to your distance until eventually you reach the 20 mile long run. But this final long run is still 6 miles short of your goal! The idea is you will be strong enough by race day to get to that finish line. Plus you will have the crowds and adrenaline to get you through.
The training worked and I finished all 3 marathons I started, but I struggled during the last few miles. Around mile 23 I would hit the wall. I would go from enjoyment of the atmosphere and maintaining a steady pace to sudden pain and fatigue. But rather then quitting I had to reach deep inside for the determination to continue. And because I pushed through the pain to finish the race I was able to experience the pride of meeting my goal, but also the days of extreme muscle pain from going past my limits.
My path to that finish line wasn’t filled with non-stop days of running. I also had to let my body rest. In order for our bodies to heal and become stronger, we must give our body time to recover. It is during these periods of rest, that the muscles we have taxed and torn, will actually become stronger.
Recently I felt myself hit the wall again. But although I did feel physically tired, it wasn’t solely from exercise. This was a whole body, mental and physical, fatigue. These are unprecedented times, and I feel like I am constantly working and going, both at home and at the clinic.
At work we are doing 11-12 hour days. And these are hard days. We have been so incredibly busy at my clinic the past couple of months. We are seeing packed schedules with often 5 or more emergencies added on. These are long days of standing and running around that leave me absolutely exhausted when I get home. Usually I am home just in time to read bedtime books to my daughters and then crash for the evening.
We are split up in to teams so I am then off for 2 days. But these days at home are filled with work and activities as well. I spend hours either completing the medical records I did not have time to do the day before, or contacting owners about bloodwork and test results which have come back.
And now there are new responsibilities at home. Zoom meetings, work-sheets and projects from the school. Trying to be present with my kids, and doing activities and puzzles together. Every day they expect meals and snacks!
Plus I don’t remember spending so much time cleaning before! And this isn’t because I’m keeping a neater house. It’s just become a full time job to keep this place clean with 2 kids and 4 pets constantly out and about.
I’ve also been trying to continue running or exercising for at least 30 minutes on the days I’m not working. The physical fatigue from long days at work and exercising, combined with mental and emotional stress I am sure we are all experiencing finally got to me. I hit the wall.
A few days ago I woke up TIRED. My body ached and my brain was foggy. No amount of caffeine was enough. And I knew, that the best thing I could do for myself that day was to rest.
When you are a parent you don’t get to completely take the day off, so I took the girls for a short walk when they asked to go outside. But I did not exercise that day.
I did not clean. They wanted to get all of their toys out while I watched from the couch? That sounds good, the mess in the house could wait.
Popcorn and a movie for a snack is easy, and a special treat for them. For dinner we ordered pizza. And I didn’t give a damn about trying to do any home schooling. The only decisions we made that day were which movie they wanted to watch next.
And it worked. I thankfully wasn’t getting sick, although that’s always a concern these days. I had just hit the wall and needed to recharge. If you need a day to let things go then take it. This isn’t procrastination or laziness. I am seeing so much online about how this time at home needs to be filled with new hobbies, deep cleaning, and exercise. And these are all great ways to improve our health and happiness.
But these are stressful times and that stress can take a physical toll. While training for those marathons I used rest days to make my muscles stronger, but this time I think I needed to let all of the worry go so I could give my mind time to strengthen. The best thing I can give to my husband, kids and patients is a happy and rested version of myself. By the next day I felt back to normal, which was great because it was a day I was needed at the clinic.
If I had woken up on a work day feeling that tired I would have had to push through for my patients. But I would have suffered for it. When I pushed to finish those marathons it was a tremendous accomplishment, but I could barely walk for days afterward. If I hadn’t been able to take that rest day when I needed it, I likely would have taken days to get out of that funk. Instead, I was able to rest and recharge. And when I woke up the next morning I could give 100% to my patients and my family.
Some days it’s best to take a cue from one of these guys.
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